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Confessions of a Sociopath….

I just yesterday finished the booked Confessions of a Sociopath by M. E. Thomas, and I will admit it was thought provoking to say the least. My confusion and now self diagnosis is the exact response the author was after – she even confessed so much in the final chapter. She did well…. I have conceded for the last month of my life that I may in fact be a Sociopath…..(Mrs Incredible or not)

There are some very obvious differences with her life and mine, but also some scarily striking resemblances. I certainly do not align with all of her actions and traits, and I do not believe I was a child Sociopath, however the way she explains her thought processes in adulthood allows you to slip into the possibility that you too may be one now.

My concern, as I read the book, was that whilst some of her confessions did seem a little on the harsh side I did not actually find anything she admitted to too bad. Everything she explained about her emotions and reactions were that way, due to a learned behaviour which I found hard not to associate with. For example, she does not steal from shops.  Not because it is morally wrong to steal from shops but because she does not want to go to prison. I am afraid I get that…. the moral compass is there but I care more about how the implications will affect me.

Umm… it’s worrying, and then not at the same time. The whole point of her book was to make people realise that sociopaths can be in control of their behaviour and are simply variants to the human ‘norm’ whatever that is. They are people like everyone else and everyone has issues. She refers to a time when homosexuality was illegal, unless you were in the army or prison…. Apparently a normal person decided that was a ‘normal’ law. Sounds crazy to me!

I am not evil, I am not a criminal, I do not need to control everything (not really), nor do I ever hurt people intentionally, but the question to ask is, am I this way because it is morally wrong or is it that I logically gain nothing from this type of behaviour?

I am not sure how to visualise Be That Bird ‘sociopath‘ with pebbles, without conceding to the ‘normal’ belief that they are all mad criminals… so perhaps I will not try just yet, then there is the worry it would not sell!

However, if I am one, forgive me.  I am still me, and just as a treat, here are the confessions of this sociopath;

  • I prefer to work the day job at 3 in the morning, because there is nothing but silence.  Both in actual noise and in responses to my emails.  There is nothing worse than finally getting something out of your in tray only for it do pop back in within the hour – Control Freak / bending rules.

 

  • I was in my element after the winds this week and I actually picked up fallen twigs whilst walking to work – Unusual behaviours.

(Proof in B&W for dramatic effect)

  • I would love to be able to beach-comb the British Virgin Islands this week – Personally gaining from disaster.

 

  • Having to listen to my children read every night irritates me beyond belief and I spend the whole time wishing it to end – No guilt or remorse

 

  • If you tell me your problems, I am compelled to fix them for you.  I do care if you are sad, but I cannot dwell on the emotion, I just want to fix things in order to stop the emotion – lack of empathy?

 

 

Either way, I am still me, do not judge – read the book and then if you like you can confess to me…..

So to end this odd blog and get back to Just Claire for a moment…..I did mock up three nice new pics for an old school friend and her family yesterday.  All were all very personal and unique to them reflecting three very different stages of their family life.  I will finish them this evening and let you judge (pics to follow).

I also planted my own succulents in the hopes they will grown at lightening speed and soon be large enough to create my favourite LOVE piece again!

 I think perhaps I have a way to go to match these beauties…

Then I hope to ‘farm’ them to create more lovely LOVEs like this….. Home-combing we shall call it!

Surely anyone that produces art saying LOVE, can in no way be a Sociopath, so perhaps I am just normal after all…

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